Heather Baker, owner of Caring Transitions South Bay/PV, draws on her experience as a child of hoarders to help seniors and families navigate transitions with empathy and expertise.
Growing up in a home engulfed by clutter was both a challenge and an unlikely teacher. My parents, highly intelligent and accomplished — a maxillofacial surgeon and a registered nurse — were hoarders. Our home was filled to the brim with papers, dental casts and an array of items they could not part with. It was a stark contrast to the sanctuary I created in my bedroom, the one space I controlled and kept neat amidst the chaos.
Hoarding wasn’t a choice for my parents; it was an emotional response to past traumas and challenges with executive functioning. Understanding this as an adult has allowed me to approach similar situations with compassion rather than judgment. It has also inspired my journey to help others navigate the overwhelming task of downsizing through my business, Caring Transitions South Bay/PV.
Turning Pain Into Purpose
After college, the clutter in my parents’ home escalated. Helping them move into a smaller space later in life made me intimately aware of the emotional and logistical challenges involved in downsizing. Each item held meaning for them, whether tied to memories, fears of scarcity or a sense of responsibility. Without understanding these emotional attachments, decluttering can feel like an attack rather than a help.
This realization led my husband, Tim, and me to open a Caring Transitions franchise. We wanted to turn my childhood experiences into actionable solutions, helping others who face similar challenges with hoarding and downsizing. Our work isn’t just about clearing spaces; it’s about creating a pathway for people to reclaim their lives.
Understanding Hoarding Through Emotional Lenses
Hoarding is often misunderstood as mere laziness or stubbornness. In reality, it is deeply rooted in emotional and psychological struggles. Here are some common fears that fuel hoarding, many of which I witnessed firsthand:
- Fear of Being Unable to Replace Items: Stemming from past financial insecurity, this fear often causes people to hold on to items long past their usefulness.
- Fear of Losing Information: Papers, magazines and books pile up due to a fear of losing potentially valuable knowledge, even if the information is inaccessible amid the clutter.
- Fear of Making the Wrong Decision: Decisions around discarding items are paralyzing for some, leading to inaction and mounting piles.
- Fear of Losing Memories: Objects often become stand-ins for memories, especially for those grappling with early-stage dementia.
- Perfectionism and Fear of Not Doing It Right: Some hoarders wait for the “perfect” time to declutter, leading to further stagnation.
- Shame and Denial: A lack of resources can make people ashamed of their belongings, while denial convinces them that their lifestyle is normal.
By understanding these emotional triggers, we can help our clients approach downsizing with empathy and actionable strategies.
Practical Steps for Supporting Hoarders
Transforming a hoarder’s space requires time, patience and emotional support. Here are steps that have proven effective:
- Acknowledge Emotions First: Before tackling the clutter, address the underlying fears and emotions. Listening and showing empathy can create trust and ease the process.
- Break It Down: Focus on small, manageable tasks. Sorting one drawer or one pile at a time can make the overall challenge feel less daunting.
- Create a Safe Transition: For seniors moving to a new space, bring only essential and emotionally significant items initially. Gradual decluttering allows for easier adjustments.
- Involve the Client: When possible, involve the person in decisions about what to keep and what to let go. Empowerment fosters cooperation.
Making a Difference With Caring Transitions
At Caring Transitions, our goal is not just to declutter but to transform lives. We’ve helped clients reclaim their homes and rebuild their confidence by addressing their emotional hurdles. Whether through estate sales, auctions or gradual cleanouts, our methods prioritize respect and understanding.
For families, the journey can be emotional as well. It often requires the involvement of social workers, clergy or counselors to ease transitions, especially when moves are necessary for safety or care reasons.
At Caring Transitions South Bay/PV, we believe that every person deserves a chance to live in a space that reflects their best life. By blending compassion with practical solutions, we strive to make that a reality for each client we serve.