Two Books Offer Strategies for Using “Radical Generosity” and a Giver’s Mindset to Attract Success
By Ray Titus
Perhaps the two greatest gifts I ever received from a business associate were a set of steak knives and a sweatshirt. The knives were an expensive, top-of-the-line brand engraved with my name. The sweatshirt probably cost much less but it, too, was highly personal, emblazoned with the word “Founder” to signify I was one of the few attendees at the conference I was attending who had started his own company.
Years later, I still remember these gifts because of how they made me feel: valued by someone who put careful thought into choosing a gift that would reflect my worth.
I was reminded of this while reading John Ruhlin’s Giftology: The Art and Science of Using Gifts to Cut Through the Noise, Increase Referrals, and Strengthen Client Retention. Ruhlin is the founder of The Ruhlin Group, a consulting firm that pioneered the art of attracting success with strategic gift-giving, from what you give to when you give it. He calls this “radical generosity,” making a lasting impression in the recipient’s mind that can pay off in new business.
Of all the ideas in Giftology, here are three that especially resonated with me:
- Work on your timing.
It’s holiday time – the least memorable gift-giving time of the year. Stacks of imported wine and cheese, monogrammed golf balls and high-end office gadgets pile up. Stand a few feet away; could you pick out who gave you what? Is your gift to others suffering a similar fate?
Don’t ignore the end-of-year holidays (no one will ever let you anyway) but remember your colleagues and clients at other times of the year too. Just by giving in summertime or spring, you remove that sense of obligation from holiday gifts.
A summertime gift to charities and non-profit organizations is also appreciated. Hunger and need don’t take the summer off.
- Value the customer.
How are you recognizing your million-dollar customer? Are you showing extra appreciation to the people who make an extra difference in your bottom line?
The quality of your gifts shouldn’t be the deal-breaker that keeps or repels a client, but a thoughtfully chosen gift unlike any other you’re giving can add immeasurably to your relationship.
Treat your top clients to gifts that take the same approach as the “gift rooms” at Hollywood events. Celebrities and industry executives are showered with expensive merchandise they could easily buy themselves, but there’s something about being given it by someone who took the time to purchase it themselves (or have their assistant do it).
But high value doesn’t only mean high price.
- Think before you shop.
The old saying, “It’s the thought that counts,” does not mean it’s okay to give something that means nothing to the recipient because, well, at least you took the time to get something. Maybe we should revise it to say, “It’s the thinking that counts” – thinking that leads to a gift they’ve always wanted but never received.
Putting in the time and thought to selecting something that’s a perfect fit for their life and work shows you understand them, and they matter to you. That demonstration is a critical part of building a relationship.
Price is not always the critical factor. Ruhlin reveals he has spent $1,500 on dinners that never brought in business, and $200 on personalized gifts that he still gets thanked for.
“Even if your dream client’s response is not immediate,” he writes, “I can almost guarantee that he or she won’t confuse you with someone else. When the timing is right, it’s more than likely it will be your name that pops into your potential client’s head.”
It all comes down to generosity, one of the qualities I explore in my book, The Challenge: Become a Better Person.
Giving to Gain
One time-tested fact is: In order to get something, you have to give something.
In The Challenge, I explore several values that can help you grow morally, ethically and spiritually, but a sense of generosity runs through many of them. Prescriptions like “Mentor young people,” “Take care of the environment,” “Focus on relationships, not transactions” and “Respect other cultures, races and religions” require stepping outside yourself and contributing to others’ good, which is the heart of generosity.
Mentoring is also a great example of getting by giving. Mentors don’t just teach; I find we also learn from our proteges. We then share what we’ve learned with the rest of our company or team.
I also had a selfish motive for writing The Challenge. If I can help someone to be a better parent or spouse or whatever, their life will be better. They’ll be happier, and they’re going to be better employees and eventually, perhaps, better franchise owners.
It’s a goal I think I share with Ruhlin, whose book opened my eyes to the rubber-stamp mentality so many of us have in gift-giving. It got me thinking about giving nicer, better-quality gifts that people can actually use and make them feel special. We also give more thought to when we give gifts.
Giftology and The Challenge share a positive approach to life, which drives every successful relationship. The ability to share generously from the heart may be your greatest gift to yourself.